Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Without employing any irony whatsoever, it is my sad duty to report that Justin Hawkins lead singer of the Darkness has quit the band.

For those unfamiliar with this awesome rock machine, the British foursome only had one month on their calendar and that was Rocktober. I've written about them before and my appreciation is genuine. Combining Queen, AC/DC, Boston, and Cheap Trick into a leather clad monstrosity, their two records Permission to Land and One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back baffled music critics as they inexplicably argued the intentions of this band: are the Darkness a joke or not? I don't know, man. Back in the day, you didn't have to do anything more than wear a pink-striped unitard to prove your authenticity.

In today's edition of The Sun, Hawkins admits to a very serious drug and alcohol addiction which led him to an early retirement. According to the singer's calculations, he has consumed, i.e., snorted, over 150,000 pounds of cocaine in the last three years. Yes, that's currency, not weight and also approximately $278, 910 of fine China white going up your nose. People who have spent four years in medical school would tell you this is an unhealthy thing to do.

"I'm lucky I still have a septum," Hawkins said, shouting out to his septum. "It was always terribly sore but I would just take more cocaine to kill the pain. I was constantly blowing out blood." If there's one thing we can learn from all of this, it's, while doing interviews, make sure to keep the status of your septum to yourself because sharing is not always caring.

The Darkness has plans to carry on without Hawkins which is almost as lame as Queen carrying on without Freddie Mercury. Almost, but not as lame.

We'll miss you, Justin. Seriously. And we can't wait for the reunion tour.

The Darkness - "Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time"

Instructions for listening to today's Song of the Day:
1. Find lighter
2. Ignite Lighter
3. Sway lighter in the air back-and-forth
4. "Feel" the music.
5. Lifting shirt to expose chest; optional.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

he even flamed out with flair, not just coke but coke AND manorexia. i love that snaggletoothed bast-rd.

6:49 PM  
Blogger Arye said...

Damn you, manorexia! Why do you always have to take the great ones like Silverchair's Daniel Johns?!? Why?

6:55 PM  

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