Monday, December 07, 2009


"I am waiting for the B train and Mr. Anderson won't stop me."

First I spotted Keanu Reeves on the subway. It was pretty exciting. More exciting than you actually might think it would be. He's tall, and heroic-looking. Like if the train had started speeding up SUDDENLY and a terrorist threatened to blow the train up TO HELL if it slowed down at all, Ken (I call him "Ken") would have run up to the front of the train and would have definitely taken care of things. Unless, of course, this happened on the 1 train which would make it very difficult to walk through to the conductor's car because some of those doors are locked. But anyway, I saw Ken (remember, I call him that). And it was cool.

Then I spotted that guy Chris from The Sopranos which I didn't really care about because I never really liked the show. And besides, he was with his kids so it wasn't like he was a celebrity. He was a dad and some guy walking on the street who's TV I never cared for. Or he was both.

Okay, so then a couple of days later, I saw Bernadette Peters who has not aged a day in 300 hundred years outside of the JCC. Seriously. I remember her from childhood, probably from a cameo on The Muppet Show or something (is that accurate? Holy moley! It is!) and she looks exactly the same as she did then, it's UNCANNY. Like she is a) a vampire, or b) someone who has a plastic surgeon. A) is probably the more popular choice but B) is probably more likely.

And then a few days after that, I was walking down my block--you know, the one I own. Not!--and there's this garbage truck blocking the street because garbage men are nice guys when you're chatting them up about garbage and football but when you're in a car and you're honking, they're all about the "do you hear something? I don't hear anything. I'm taking my time. Ladidah-dadi-dah! Garbage! I pick you up piece-by-piece." So one guy gets out of his car to see what the hold-up was all about, and it's Kevin Kline. Yes, him! From A Fish Called Wanda other movies.

After all of this had happened, I realized that I had no one to share this with. I mean, Shana is my wife but she's in school. And they don't get reception ever. So I need to share it with someone....

And so I got a Twitter account. So i can share this nonsense with random people. There it is. I am now in the future, aka, the past for everyone else but the future for me. I'm at