MY IMPRESSIVE LIST OF PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO INTERVIEW::

Britney Spears
Woody Allen, when he's in a good mood
Madonna, when she's in a bad mood
Dave Eggers, who is notorious for shunning the press
Audrey Tautou. And when I say interview, I mean get to "know" each other.
Alan Moore
The staff of the Onion
Kurt Loder
Serena Altschul. The only question I will ask is: will you marry me?
Nick Hornby
Claire Danes circa 1994
Mister Fred Rodgers when he was alive
Kurt Cobain from the beyond with a Séance
Gwyneth Paltrow, once again getting to "know" each other "well."
Both Ben & Jerry so I could thank them for the free ice cream cone I had today.
Bono and the Edge so I could thank them also for the free ice cream cone I had today even though they had nothing to do with it.
Justin Timberlake because I just know that I could make him cry.
Jon Stewart on the condition that I get to be the funny one.
Eddie Van Halen aka God
Thomas Friedman because I just don't trust him. Yet.
Steven Speilberg who owns your ass.
God aka Eddie Van Halen
Jimmy Fallon so I could tell him that yes, he's cute but no, he's really not funny.
Maggie Gyllenhal so I could flex my flirting muscles.
Sadam Hussein. First I would interview him and then I, SLOWLY WITH NO SUDDEN MOVES, would call the police.
Paul Reubens, aka Pee Wee Herman.Hell, forget the interview, I'll write the biography.
Winona Ryder? I'd love to.
Bill Gates because I'm sure he won't notice if I sneak out with some of his loose change.
The guy who invented the Rubik's Cube
Elie Wiesel because I had to put one person on this list to make me look intellectual.
Ethan Hawke who seems like a pretty decent guy.
Eminem