BBS PRESENTS AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH A NEW YORK REAL ESTATE BROKER
When the broker leaves his home to show apartments, he never comes fully dressed.
Bring Back Sincerity: Thank you so much for joining us tonight, Real Estate Broker. I know your schedule must be very full so...
Real Estate Broker: For you? Honest, I would always make time for you. Not so for other people but you're special. Seriously.
BBS: Wow. Thank you for your kind words.
REB: Now, I could tell you what you want to hear but I won't. I say the truth and I know this is a great interview. You won't find an interview like this anywhere in the world. This is a truly amazing opportunity. Truly.
BBS: Ha ha. Okay then...so shall we begin the interview?
REB: I am absolutely ready. I have an appointment in twenty minutes but the next one thousand and two hundred seconds are special. Not like that other appointment. I feel it. There's a vibe here. In my gut.
BBS: When did you start working as a real estate broker in New York?
REB: Well, I can answer that question with two answers...actually, let me answer it with two answers converted into a three-part answer. So really it's two answers but the answers are so impressive that there's room to turn it into three answers. My first answer is that I simply love people. I want to do good things for them. I want to find them a great, affordable place. It's all I want. The broker's fee is incidental. I feel like I could do this job for free. Secondly, I get great exercise. I love walking around New York from place to place with people I hardly know spending sometimes hours showing off exciting and new places. I also happen to be a very big fan of gentrification. I think it is so in right now.
BBS: Do you enjoy the hustle of being a broker?
REB: I am going to answer this question now. Do you know why?
BBS: Why?
REB: Because if I wait a few more minutes this question may be gone. Crazy, I know. But if I hesitate in answering your terrific, well-researched question then I may never have the chance to answer it. Period. That's how these things work. It's there one minute, and gone the next. I always answer good questions right away because, frankly, I hate to say it, someone may answer it instead of me. And then I would live the rest of my life regreting that I didn't answer that question...
BBS: Where are you from?
REB: Where do you want me to be from?
BBS: When you list an apartment, would you consider the small maid's room as a full bedroom?
REB: Sure. I know a lot of very short people who would consider that room ideal. There are little people who don't need a ton of space and that's perfect for them. In fact, not considering that a real bedroom may even be offensive to those small people. Have you considered that?
BBS: Brokers have a very bad reputation. People say they're shady. They're dishonest and the only interests they have is their own. Can you address that?
REB: This is the first I'm hearing of that. And to be honest, I can't even imagine where that reputation would even come from.
BBS: Can we do a word-association now?
REB: Absolutely.
BBS: Okay, here we go. Low-income family.
REB: I wish I had something to show you but I don't....um, wait, you said "word association" not "role playing," right?
BBS: Yes, please. Now, Harlem.
REB: Upper Upper West Side.
BBS: Walk-up.
REB: Excercise-conduscive.
BBS: Affordable.
REB: Impossible.
BBS: Speaking of; what do you think will happen to all the people who can't afford living in New York City anymore?
REB: Well, I could always show them some lovely apartments in Albany, which is actually now known as North Manhattan. Or as we say, NoMa.
BBS: Our time has run out. Broker, I want to thank you for coming and speaking with Bring Back Sincerity.
REB: My pleasure. Seriously. Here's my card. Call me if you ever need a place to live. I am the best in the business. Do not waste your time with anyone else. No one else.
When the broker leaves his home to show apartments, he never comes fully dressed.
Bring Back Sincerity: Thank you so much for joining us tonight, Real Estate Broker. I know your schedule must be very full so...
Real Estate Broker: For you? Honest, I would always make time for you. Not so for other people but you're special. Seriously.
BBS: Wow. Thank you for your kind words.
REB: Now, I could tell you what you want to hear but I won't. I say the truth and I know this is a great interview. You won't find an interview like this anywhere in the world. This is a truly amazing opportunity. Truly.
BBS: Ha ha. Okay then...so shall we begin the interview?
REB: I am absolutely ready. I have an appointment in twenty minutes but the next one thousand and two hundred seconds are special. Not like that other appointment. I feel it. There's a vibe here. In my gut.
BBS: When did you start working as a real estate broker in New York?
REB: Well, I can answer that question with two answers...actually, let me answer it with two answers converted into a three-part answer. So really it's two answers but the answers are so impressive that there's room to turn it into three answers. My first answer is that I simply love people. I want to do good things for them. I want to find them a great, affordable place. It's all I want. The broker's fee is incidental. I feel like I could do this job for free. Secondly, I get great exercise. I love walking around New York from place to place with people I hardly know spending sometimes hours showing off exciting and new places. I also happen to be a very big fan of gentrification. I think it is so in right now.
BBS: Do you enjoy the hustle of being a broker?
REB: I am going to answer this question now. Do you know why?
BBS: Why?
REB: Because if I wait a few more minutes this question may be gone. Crazy, I know. But if I hesitate in answering your terrific, well-researched question then I may never have the chance to answer it. Period. That's how these things work. It's there one minute, and gone the next. I always answer good questions right away because, frankly, I hate to say it, someone may answer it instead of me. And then I would live the rest of my life regreting that I didn't answer that question...
BBS: Where are you from?
REB: Where do you want me to be from?
BBS: When you list an apartment, would you consider the small maid's room as a full bedroom?
REB: Sure. I know a lot of very short people who would consider that room ideal. There are little people who don't need a ton of space and that's perfect for them. In fact, not considering that a real bedroom may even be offensive to those small people. Have you considered that?
BBS: Brokers have a very bad reputation. People say they're shady. They're dishonest and the only interests they have is their own. Can you address that?
REB: This is the first I'm hearing of that. And to be honest, I can't even imagine where that reputation would even come from.
BBS: Can we do a word-association now?
REB: Absolutely.
BBS: Okay, here we go. Low-income family.
REB: I wish I had something to show you but I don't....um, wait, you said "word association" not "role playing," right?
BBS: Yes, please. Now, Harlem.
REB: Upper Upper West Side.
BBS: Walk-up.
REB: Excercise-conduscive.
BBS: Affordable.
REB: Impossible.
BBS: Speaking of; what do you think will happen to all the people who can't afford living in New York City anymore?
REB: Well, I could always show them some lovely apartments in Albany, which is actually now known as North Manhattan. Or as we say, NoMa.
BBS: Our time has run out. Broker, I want to thank you for coming and speaking with Bring Back Sincerity.
REB: My pleasure. Seriously. Here's my card. Call me if you ever need a place to live. I am the best in the business. Do not waste your time with anyone else. No one else.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home