Tuesday, February 22, 2005


On Sunday, I made the mistake of turning on the TV and watching MTV.

It seems that they have a new show called "My Super Sweet Sixteen" which is about Sweet Sixteens that are preferably super. And just in case you thought the Sweet Sixteen was yours, the title of the program points out that the event in question is "My Super Sweet Sixteen." You have nothing to do with it. You are to stay at home and wonder why your parents weren't rich and obnoxious. You are left to question whether it's a good idea to really bring children into a world that condones such regressive programming choices.

Never one for harping over the plight of third world countries and famine-stricken lands, I sat here and watched a fifteen-year-old order her father around. I watched said fifteen year old (now a newly anointed sixteen) hunt and kick a freshman out of her party because, well, when you have three hundred people around you dancing, losing themselves and having the time of their regularly blogged-about lives, it's hard to lose focus on the fact that there is one freshman there. I mean, how can you concentrate on a $50,000 event while there is a girl one year junior enjoying herself as well? How can we stand by and allow such an atrocity to occur? Worse than prefume in a bunny's eyes. Heinous with a capitol “hey, world, I'm a moron and will never live my brattiness down."

Perhaps, though, MTV deserves more credit than I am giving them. Perhaps this is their social criticism on the self-involved emptiness of American teenagers. Maybe "My Super Sweet Sixteen" is an unflinching editorial on the moral and substantive wasteland that passes through the halls of our local high schools? Nah. On second thought, MTV is more or less responsible for all of that.

With "reality shows" like Road Rules, Real World, Newlyweds, The Ashlee Simpson Show, Punk'd, MTV has proved time and time again that shallowness and stupidity is worth celebrating. [I should note here that Boiling Points is a pretty decent show that teaches us to be patient even in stressful situations so I applaud MTV for this one]. Even the videos full of scantily clad women and bottles of champagne inspires thousands with a certain work ethic--work hard and you can get all of this. "My Super Sweet Sixteen," on the other hand, says be born in the right family and do nothing and you'll be "adored" by all. In fact, during one of the two episodes I traded my soul in for, the focus of the show's classmates all swore to love her (some even admitted that they had no idea who she was but that would change thanks to her party) because she was rich. Now, that's a lesson I want to teach the youth of America. Really, the FCC shouldn't really care about Janet Jackson's breast. One breast doth not maketh a country morally bankrupt. Programming like this will.

Beck once had a song entitled "MTV Makes Me Want To Smoke Crack." I think if he had written the song today it would have been called "MTV Makes Me Want To Smoke Something Stronger Than Crack Because Crack Isn't Doing It Anymore."


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