THE DIARY OF A HOT DOG VENDOR
April 11th, 2003
9:57 AM: Today I sold a hot dog the earliest I ever have. 9:43 AM! I says to him that the dogs aren't done yet but this guy still insisted that I give him one. "I don't care if it's raw because they're pre-cooked," he told me. And I'm like, yeah, I know that. I sell hot dogs for a living.
10:32 AM: If you will allow me to get deep for a moment, I've noticed in between my mustard squirting that people are getting pretty impatient nowadays. And I don't particularly like rudeness. This lady says to me the other day, "how long will it take for me to get a hot dog?" And I says, how long it will take you to walk to the next hot dog vendor. She looks at me so horrified, like I just spit on her hot dog. So then I serve her the hot dog but to be honest, I did spit on it.
11:36 AM: Ketchup, mustard, sauerkraut.
11:44 AM: Ketchup, onions
12:22 PM: This is when it gets really busy. This guy is asking me why I'm writing now instead of serving hot dogs. So I'm putting my journal down.
12:24 PM: Hot dogs are so unhealthy. Perhaps my selling them is what they call an heretical dilemma?
12:41 PM: I don't usually use deoderant. What's the point?
12:55 PM: This woman just ordered 3 hot dogs and a diet coke. Why the diet coke, I ask her? I mean, you are eating three hot dogs already. And she says, none of my business. And I says back, apparently it is because I'm the guy selling you your diet coke.
1:03 PM: Mustard, onions, relish
1:15 PM: I overhear this lady talking to her husband about how she wasn't "planning on getting pregnant, it just happened." He looks upset. Really upset. So I turns to them and I says, you know, I didn't plan on selling hot dogs all my life. And I seem to be doing alright.
1:35 PM: The lunch time crowd seems to be slowing down. This is my favorite part of the day. The calm after the sun.Sometimes I think if maybe I should be doing something else like selling peanuts, those candy coated peanuts that are so good. But I don't think I would enjoy it. There's too much monotony. You take peanuts and put them in a bag. With the hot dogs, every one you serve is different. I like that, being able to customize a hot dog. It's like we share a bond, me and the customers. On occasion, I have to fight the urge to hug someone. I just put mustard on your hot dog and it's possible that I love you because of it.
2:21 PM: A knish, a hot dog with mustard and relish.
2:45 PM: I'm from Russia. I'm just telling you because people always ask.
3:16 PM: My wife says that maybe I should not eat some many hot dogs during the day. She works as a secretary and I tell her back, then you shouldn't read so many words.This is where our argument ends usually.
3:38 PM: Mustard. Only mustard.
4:20 PM: Unfortunately I am so busy during the day I cannot wrte as often as I would like into my journal. If I had my way, I would only write in my journal. No, I would sell hot dogs but not in Manhattan. I would love to sell hot dogs in San Francisco (get it? I made a joke--hot dogs and San Francisco?!? I'm sure it is funnier in Russian)
4:46 PM: Ketchup, sauerkraut
5:00 PM: My day is over so I go home.This is my happiest part of the day because this is when I count my money up to see how much I've made. Although, sometimes it could be my saddest part of the day. It really all depends on how many hot dogs I've sold.
April 11th, 2003
9:57 AM: Today I sold a hot dog the earliest I ever have. 9:43 AM! I says to him that the dogs aren't done yet but this guy still insisted that I give him one. "I don't care if it's raw because they're pre-cooked," he told me. And I'm like, yeah, I know that. I sell hot dogs for a living.
10:32 AM: If you will allow me to get deep for a moment, I've noticed in between my mustard squirting that people are getting pretty impatient nowadays. And I don't particularly like rudeness. This lady says to me the other day, "how long will it take for me to get a hot dog?" And I says, how long it will take you to walk to the next hot dog vendor. She looks at me so horrified, like I just spit on her hot dog. So then I serve her the hot dog but to be honest, I did spit on it.
11:36 AM: Ketchup, mustard, sauerkraut.
11:44 AM: Ketchup, onions
12:22 PM: This is when it gets really busy. This guy is asking me why I'm writing now instead of serving hot dogs. So I'm putting my journal down.
12:24 PM: Hot dogs are so unhealthy. Perhaps my selling them is what they call an heretical dilemma?
12:41 PM: I don't usually use deoderant. What's the point?
12:55 PM: This woman just ordered 3 hot dogs and a diet coke. Why the diet coke, I ask her? I mean, you are eating three hot dogs already. And she says, none of my business. And I says back, apparently it is because I'm the guy selling you your diet coke.
1:03 PM: Mustard, onions, relish
1:15 PM: I overhear this lady talking to her husband about how she wasn't "planning on getting pregnant, it just happened." He looks upset. Really upset. So I turns to them and I says, you know, I didn't plan on selling hot dogs all my life. And I seem to be doing alright.
1:35 PM: The lunch time crowd seems to be slowing down. This is my favorite part of the day. The calm after the sun.Sometimes I think if maybe I should be doing something else like selling peanuts, those candy coated peanuts that are so good. But I don't think I would enjoy it. There's too much monotony. You take peanuts and put them in a bag. With the hot dogs, every one you serve is different. I like that, being able to customize a hot dog. It's like we share a bond, me and the customers. On occasion, I have to fight the urge to hug someone. I just put mustard on your hot dog and it's possible that I love you because of it.
2:21 PM: A knish, a hot dog with mustard and relish.
2:45 PM: I'm from Russia. I'm just telling you because people always ask.
3:16 PM: My wife says that maybe I should not eat some many hot dogs during the day. She works as a secretary and I tell her back, then you shouldn't read so many words.This is where our argument ends usually.
3:38 PM: Mustard. Only mustard.
4:20 PM: Unfortunately I am so busy during the day I cannot wrte as often as I would like into my journal. If I had my way, I would only write in my journal. No, I would sell hot dogs but not in Manhattan. I would love to sell hot dogs in San Francisco (get it? I made a joke--hot dogs and San Francisco?!? I'm sure it is funnier in Russian)
4:46 PM: Ketchup, sauerkraut
5:00 PM: My day is over so I go home.This is my happiest part of the day because this is when I count my money up to see how much I've made. Although, sometimes it could be my saddest part of the day. It really all depends on how many hot dogs I've sold.
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