A RANDOM LIST OF EFFECTIVE COME-BACKS APPLICABLE TO ALL INSULTS (not always applicable to all insults);

- Get a room, guys, not a "reply all."

- No no no no no. YES!

- Oh, yeah? Well, your face is too fleshy.

- Why don't you take a right turn to HELL! And that's what I call directions!

- Well, the kosher meat store just called and said that they ran out of wieners!

- I may be drunk tonight but you'll still be my girlfriend in the morning.

- (Only applicable when talking to Anne Heche) If they had written your biography the title should be "Call Me Crazy!"

- I remember Bosnia, dude, and you are no Bosnian.

- (or; alternate) I remember Bosnia, dude, and not much else.

- Your mom is so hot that I turned on the air-conditioner for her in the living room.

- Poetry is for poets!

- You have more issues than a Hudson Newstand.

- Let's get off moms because I just got off mine!

- (Only applicable when talking to Woody Allen) Oh, yeah? Well, why don't you just marry your daughter?

- (Only applicable when talking to a Medical School student) You HAVE no pulse!

- Dude, I'm not homophobic! I don't even own a car!

- Just make like an intern and go surf the internet!

- Well, I haven't been around this many stupid since I was alone in a room!