IF YOU WERE MY MOTHER, YOU WOULD HAVE SENT ME THIS EMAIL THIS MORNING PART II

Despite the fact that this is a stressful week for me (hence the no-writing dry run), I wanted to share another one of my Mother's emails with you.

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Arye - Have a good day. Enjoy. - Mom

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it...so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it...mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice too my life but I just didn't have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn't have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

So I'm retired and I've found I'm perfect for the job!