THE MAGIC PHONE

My sister calls and asks me to explain the concept of magic to my four-year old nephew. I sometimes transcribe the conversations that I have with my nephews because some of them are absurd and they provide a much-needed chuckle. As is the case with the conversation below.

Can you teach me magic?

Sure, but I can't teach you over the phone. I need to teach you in-person.

Who person?

No, I mean, I have to be in the same room as you.

But you're not. You know what I think m agic is? I think...I think...You think it’s magic but its really not magic, you just have tissues in your pocket.

Why do I have tissues in my pocket?

You don’t have a cold. But you’re making magic. Do you understand me?

Not yet.

You’re not making magic. You’re teaching me magic. A teacher doesn’t make magic, a teacher makes teaching.

Oh. I see.

Don’t hang up the phone.

Okay, I won’t. What should I teach you?

I want to make magic in my hands.

Do you have your magic wand?

What?

Do you have a magic wand?

What? A magic one?

No, a magic wand. Not a magic one.

[To his mom] What’s a magic wand?
[To me] Do I need a special hat? Do I need a magic hat to make the bunny come out?

I’m not sure. It’s magic. It’s a secret.

So, how do teachers teach magic, if it’s a secret? How do you know magic?

I went to magic school when I was little.

How do you make magic without a magic wand?

Um, I have one.

Where is it?

In my apartment.

Want to hear a trick?

Okay.

Now, I hang up.

Hello?

[Dial tone]