BILL O'REILLY INTERVIEWS BREANNA FROM LAGUNA BEACH
Breanna; far right
O’REILLY: Welcome to the show. So did you read Woodward’s book?
BREANNA: Um, read what? I just got here.
O’REILLY: Woodward’s a good reporter, right? Good guy, you know who he is right?
BREANNA: Is he in the tenth grade? I don't talk to tenth graders.
O’REILLY: OK, he says in his book George Tenet looked the president in the eye, like how I am looking you in the eye right now and said, “President, weapons of mass destruction are a quote, end quote, ‘slam dunk.’” If you’re the president, you ignore all that?
BREANNA: OK, you're like old. Who are you?
O’REILLY: Tenet was fired.
BREANNA: Oh! I know who you are. My dad watches you and says you don't let other people talk. He says that you're a jackass.
O’REILLY: You’ve got MI-6 and Russian intelligence because they’re all saying the same thing that’s why. You’re not going to apologize to Bush, you are going to continue to call him a liar.
BREANNA: I'm so lost here. Do you have a girlfriend?
O’REILLY: It wasn’t a lie.
BREANNA: So you don't like girls...? Are you gay?
O’REILLY: I call that bad information, acting on bad information; not a lie.
BREANNA: I think you need a girlfriend. You're like, intensely angry and such. Or a boyfriend.
O’REILLY: All right, your turn to ask me a question…
BREANNA: I just asked you something. And you totes ignored it.
O’REILLY: We’re back to the weapons of mass destruction.
BREANNA: Where did they go?
O’REILLY: The weapons of mass destruction…?
BREANNA: So I was talking to Lexie on the phone and she was totally bumming out on Kelan.
O’REILLY: That’s right.
BREANNA: She's over-reacting, right? I mean, Kelan did make out with Camie but...
O’REILLY: It was a mistake.
BREANNA: Totes.
O’REILLY: I don’t think its good enough either for those parents.
BREANNA: Wait, who's parents?
O’REILLY: But that is the historical nature of what happened.
BREANNA: You're getting so weird again. You don't have much of a neck.
O’REILLY: It depends on whether the mistake was unintentional.
BREANNA: Kelan's mistake? I mean, he stuck his thingy in her down-there. That's not a mistake.
O’REILLY: Then if it was an unintentional mistake I cannot hold you morally responsible for that.
BREANNA: Are we almost done?
O’REILLY: The weapons of mass destruction was a mistake.
BREANNA: Dude, that is so five minutes ago. You keep talking about these weapons of mass destruction and whatever they are, it sounds bad. But what can it do for me? Can I get a ride to the mall on a weapon of mass destruction?
O’REILLY: Alright, I’ve got anther question…
BREANNA: Uh huh.
O’REILLY: Would you? That’s my next question. Would you sacrifice yourself to remove the Taliban?
BREANNA: No way. I don't mind Taliban so much. It keeps my underarms dry. Way better than Secret.
O’REILLY: OK, well look you can’t kill everybody. You wouldn’t have invaded Afghanistan — you wouldn’t have invaded Afghanistan, would you?
BREANNA: I'm going to Cancun. You can totally drink there and not have an ID.
O’REILLY: How?
BREANNA: Not sure. I just know that they're serving it up and this mouth here is open. Whoo-hooo! Spring break! Cannot. Wait!
O’REILLY: Why was that?
BREANNA: Huh?
O’REILLY: Because Pakistan didn’t want its territory of sovereignty violated.
BREANNA: Like I said, dude, you are so weird. Cancun. Not Picklestan.
O’REILLY: Any government? Hitler, in Germany, not a threat to us the beginning but over there executing people all day long — you would have let him go?
BREANNA: Whoa. Hitler? Leave him out of this. My dad's partner is Jewish and he does his Jew thing and we respect him. I mean, he's kinda cheap but whatev. Jews can be cheap. Do you have a credit card? I have one.
O’REILLY: I’m not going to say what you say, you’re a, that’s ridiculous…
BREANNA: I have a credit card and I use it all the time. Daddy says that one day it's going to melt. He also says that you're a douchebag.
O’REILLY: Look it’s a worldwide terrorism — I know that escapes you —
BREANNA: So bored.
O’REILLY: Yes. There are terrorist in Iraq.
BREANNA: So what? There are nerds in my class. What are you going to do? Kill them?
O’REILLY: When Reagan was building up the arms, you were against that.
BREANNA: Who's Reagan?
O’REILLY: You’d love to get rid of me.
BREANNA: Dude, I just met you. I don't want to get rid of you. Geez, lighten up.
O’REILLY: I appreciate that, Breanna.
BREANNA: Whatevs. We're done now, right? I'm so getting a mani.
The Bill O'Reilly portion of this interview was taken from interview with Michael Moore. O'Reilly's words were not tampered with.
Breanna; far right
O’REILLY: Welcome to the show. So did you read Woodward’s book?
BREANNA: Um, read what? I just got here.
O’REILLY: Woodward’s a good reporter, right? Good guy, you know who he is right?
BREANNA: Is he in the tenth grade? I don't talk to tenth graders.
O’REILLY: OK, he says in his book George Tenet looked the president in the eye, like how I am looking you in the eye right now and said, “President, weapons of mass destruction are a quote, end quote, ‘slam dunk.’” If you’re the president, you ignore all that?
BREANNA: OK, you're like old. Who are you?
O’REILLY: Tenet was fired.
BREANNA: Oh! I know who you are. My dad watches you and says you don't let other people talk. He says that you're a jackass.
O’REILLY: You’ve got MI-6 and Russian intelligence because they’re all saying the same thing that’s why. You’re not going to apologize to Bush, you are going to continue to call him a liar.
BREANNA: I'm so lost here. Do you have a girlfriend?
O’REILLY: It wasn’t a lie.
BREANNA: So you don't like girls...? Are you gay?
O’REILLY: I call that bad information, acting on bad information; not a lie.
BREANNA: I think you need a girlfriend. You're like, intensely angry and such. Or a boyfriend.
O’REILLY: All right, your turn to ask me a question…
BREANNA: I just asked you something. And you totes ignored it.
O’REILLY: We’re back to the weapons of mass destruction.
BREANNA: Where did they go?
O’REILLY: The weapons of mass destruction…?
BREANNA: So I was talking to Lexie on the phone and she was totally bumming out on Kelan.
O’REILLY: That’s right.
BREANNA: She's over-reacting, right? I mean, Kelan did make out with Camie but...
O’REILLY: It was a mistake.
BREANNA: Totes.
O’REILLY: I don’t think its good enough either for those parents.
BREANNA: Wait, who's parents?
O’REILLY: But that is the historical nature of what happened.
BREANNA: You're getting so weird again. You don't have much of a neck.
O’REILLY: It depends on whether the mistake was unintentional.
BREANNA: Kelan's mistake? I mean, he stuck his thingy in her down-there. That's not a mistake.
O’REILLY: Then if it was an unintentional mistake I cannot hold you morally responsible for that.
BREANNA: Are we almost done?
O’REILLY: The weapons of mass destruction was a mistake.
BREANNA: Dude, that is so five minutes ago. You keep talking about these weapons of mass destruction and whatever they are, it sounds bad. But what can it do for me? Can I get a ride to the mall on a weapon of mass destruction?
O’REILLY: Alright, I’ve got anther question…
BREANNA: Uh huh.
O’REILLY: Would you? That’s my next question. Would you sacrifice yourself to remove the Taliban?
BREANNA: No way. I don't mind Taliban so much. It keeps my underarms dry. Way better than Secret.
O’REILLY: OK, well look you can’t kill everybody. You wouldn’t have invaded Afghanistan — you wouldn’t have invaded Afghanistan, would you?
BREANNA: I'm going to Cancun. You can totally drink there and not have an ID.
O’REILLY: How?
BREANNA: Not sure. I just know that they're serving it up and this mouth here is open. Whoo-hooo! Spring break! Cannot. Wait!
O’REILLY: Why was that?
BREANNA: Huh?
O’REILLY: Because Pakistan didn’t want its territory of sovereignty violated.
BREANNA: Like I said, dude, you are so weird. Cancun. Not Picklestan.
O’REILLY: Any government? Hitler, in Germany, not a threat to us the beginning but over there executing people all day long — you would have let him go?
BREANNA: Whoa. Hitler? Leave him out of this. My dad's partner is Jewish and he does his Jew thing and we respect him. I mean, he's kinda cheap but whatev. Jews can be cheap. Do you have a credit card? I have one.
O’REILLY: I’m not going to say what you say, you’re a, that’s ridiculous…
BREANNA: I have a credit card and I use it all the time. Daddy says that one day it's going to melt. He also says that you're a douchebag.
O’REILLY: Look it’s a worldwide terrorism — I know that escapes you —
BREANNA: So bored.
O’REILLY: Yes. There are terrorist in Iraq.
BREANNA: So what? There are nerds in my class. What are you going to do? Kill them?
O’REILLY: When Reagan was building up the arms, you were against that.
BREANNA: Who's Reagan?
O’REILLY: You’d love to get rid of me.
BREANNA: Dude, I just met you. I don't want to get rid of you. Geez, lighten up.
O’REILLY: I appreciate that, Breanna.
BREANNA: Whatevs. We're done now, right? I'm so getting a mani.
The Bill O'Reilly portion of this interview was taken from interview with Michael Moore. O'Reilly's words were not tampered with.
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