Tuesday, December 14, 2004


Bring Back Sincerity: Welcome, broccoli.
Broccoli: Hello there. Thanks for having me.
BBS: What's your deal...if I can just get right into it? You're not like a tomato which has the flexibilty of being sliced or eaten raw. You are not a radish which is an aquired taste and not that common.
B: Gosh. I don't know. I'm just broccoli. What else can I say? Granted I'm not a favorite like the lettuce or the cucumber but I am a great source of folic acid and fiber. You can't just dismiss those benefits.
BBS: Do you like being green?
B: Green's nice. It's the color of money.
BBS: I like your hair.
B: Oh, really? Wow, thanks, I work very hard on it and wash it quite often. In the vegetable community we call it a brocfro.
BBS: Ha ha. The first time I've heard that one. What's your day-to-day like?
B: Oh, you know. Sometimes I boil, sometimes I steam, sometimes I get crazy in a mixed salad. It changes depending on my mood.
BBS: Favorite dressing?
B: You want me to say something exotic, don't you?
BBS: Say whatever you're feeling.
B: French dressing...or rather, Freedom dressing. Ha.
BBS: Yeah, I don't think we need to do the French/Freedom thing anymore. I think we use France again.
B: Oh, I love France. Did you know that a serving of broccoli has 3 grams of protein.
BBS: This is fascinating stuff. Who would've thought...? Is it weird that you have a stalk and like, stalk is a word that people use when they're following someone obesessively?
B: I never made that connection.
BBS: Are you tired? You seem really sedate.
B: Nah, I'm always like this. I'm not a crazy vegetable. No one ever made a movie about me called The Attack of the Killer Broccoli for good reason. We're not an exciting vegetable. When was the last time you opened a fridge and grabbed a stalk of broccoli to snack on? People snack on carrots...pickles...cherry tomatoes.
BBS: Does that hurt you?
B: I can't expect anything different. I look in the mirror and I see green. That's it. Where's the appeal?
BBS: You, my friend, have a bad self-esteem issue. We need to work on that.
B: Yeah, I know. I'm sorry.
BBS: Why are you apologizing? No one likes a sorry broccoli. What are your thoughts on broccoflower?
B: It's pretty sick, if you ask me. Mixing cauliflower and broccoli together is just wrong. What kind of world is this? Why do you need to combine one bland vegetable with another?
BBS: You're doing it again. Self-esteem. I hear that more broccoli in your diet can help shrink breast cancer tumors. That's pretty amazing.
B: Yeah, you're right.
BBS: And I bet that cabbage can't say that.
B: That's also true.
BBS: Who's my vegetable?
B: I'm your vegetable.
BBS: I'm going to need to hear that a bit louder.
B: I'm your vegetable!
BBS: Better. You are a real nutritional powerhouse!
B: I guess I am. I also have beta-carotine.
BBS: Whoa now. That's hot. Chicks loooove beta-carotine.
B: Awesome.
BBS: Broccoli, I'm glad we had this chance to talk but our time is up. Thanks for coming down to speak with us. You are an underrated vegetable and I hope you get the respect you seek.
B: Oh, thanks. This has totally been my pleasure. It's not every day that we broccolis have the opportunity to share our thoughts.
BBS: Again, I have to say great brocfro.
And for the people at home, stay tuned for Bring Back Sincerity's next exclusive interview with Jerry of Ben & Jerry fame. Until then, be sincere.


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