Sunday, June 17, 2007


Peace? Nah. Who needs peace?
What Israel really needs is the 18 to 35 horny, beer-drinking demographic. "As this blog has reported":, the Middle East country's New York Consulate teamed up with Maxim magazine for a very special cross-promotion featuring girls of the Israeli Defense Forces not necessarily wearing their uniforms, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Wink, wink.

Why didn't anyone think of this before? Middle east tensions flaring up? No problem. Let's just talk about boobies and what household items can be made into bongs. Perfect!

"Models are a great point of attraction," says the model Moran Atias whose first name, by the way, kinda sounds like "moron. Purely coincidental. "And I think if Bar or I are used to promote Israel in England or Italy or wherever, then I think that's a positive thing. It definitely brings attention to Israel in a positive way. It's a beautiful mix."

The Holy Land approved... wait, did I say, "Holy Land?" I meant, The Land of Totally Loose Babes approved the PR strategy when they discovered that most men associated Israel with "war or holy relics." If we can just show a few scantily clad models talking about how they love to sleep without underwear on, or, wait, how about the one that will say she's attracted to girls? I bet there's one of those. Anyway, if we just focus on these select models, maybe all our problems will go away. Maybe this whole Jewish-Arab stuff will be a thing of the past.

I was in Israel a couple of years ago and I couldn't put my finger on what was missing. And then, thanks to Maxim, I realized we need more dudes there. Not just dudes, though. Dudes that are interested in the Sexiest Assassins. I mean, who isn't interested in this? When I'm standing at the Wailing Wall, I too am thinking about Nicolas Cage's Magical Mystery Hair. This just seems like a perfect match. Kudos Israeli Consulate and Maxim magazine! You have solved the tourism problem in Israel simply by asking some Israeli women to wear a chain-mail bikini. Sweet.


Blogger john smith said...

Only under fire would this strange cross-section of Israelis find themselves standing shoulder to shoulder. דילים זולים לחול

3:08 PM  

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