MY SIXTH GRADE ENGLISH TEACHER RESPONDS TO A LYRIC FROM TODAY'S POP MUSIC HITS, PART ONE

"I believe the proper way to say that is "I am not a hollaback girl." Unless, of course, by employing the double negative, you mean to suggest that you are, in fact, a hollaback girl. "

AND NOW--SCREWING UP AMERICA



To tie into Bernard Goldberg's new controversial book 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America, I would like to suggest a few nominations of my own. Therefore, I present 10 People Who Are Screwing Up America, Albeit From My Uninformed Perspective:
10. The guy who swims in the medium lane even though he should be swimming in the slow lane and, I'm sure, intentionally slows down when he knows I'm right behind him. Loser.
9. Ben for not being more like Jerry.
8. The staff of the Onion for being only moderately funny.
7. Lance Armstrong for not living as strong as his wristband suggests and/or people wearing that yellow wristband who are right now listening to Sheryl Crow.
6. Hitler.
5. People who "blog."
4. People who "blog" and write the word "prolly" instead of "probably" and/or use "password" as their password.
3. Karl Rove because he's done something bad even though I'm not exactly clear on what he done that's so bad and truthfully, may never understand.
2. John Mayer for being uncomfortably frank about his fetish for "daughters" yet never specifying the age bracket they need to be in.
1. White people.