SHE LOVES NEW YORK



I don't like cities, but I like New York.
Technically, New York is in fact a city. I know this.
I'm simply using my poetic license by saying that New York is unlike any other place.
Other places make me feel like a dork.
Yes, I just rhymed "York" with "dork."
But I thought on this particular lyric long-and-hard and realized I had no choice.
It was between "Mork", which makes no sense because a Robin Williams character has nothing to do with New York, "stork" and "cork", but surely you can see that "dork" was my strongest option?
Besides, who feels like a stork?
Um, besides a stork?
Now, Los Angeles is for people who sleep.
And for people who are awake. Either one really.
To be honest, I'm not sure what I meant here.
Paris and London, baby you can keep.

Baby you can keep.
Baby you can keep.
Baby you can keep.
Baby you can keep.
Baby you can keep.
What?
I have to say it eight times.
Why?
I don't know why. I wrote it that way.
Baby you can keep.
Baby you can keep
Knock it off. Seriously. There's only one more.
Baby you can keep.
...And I'm done.

[Chorus:]
Other cities always make me mad.
Other places always make me sad.
I know you're confused. You're thinking, which is it?
Sad? Or mad?
Well, I've seen people who got mad and sad at the same time. It's totally possible.
It's intense but possible.
There's crying and there's yelling. And then more crying, and you're like, is she mad or sad? Or both?
No other city ever made me glad.
I bet you didn't see "glad" coming?
Because most people only rhyme their lyrics twice.
I did it three times.
That, my friend, is a lyrical curveball.
No other city ever made me glad.
Except New York.
I love New York.
I love New York.
I love New York.

If you don't like my attitude, then you can F-off.
Incidentally, the old Madonna would never have said "F-off."
How dorky.
Or Morky?
Or perhaps, corky...?
Just go to Texas, isn't that where they golf?
It isn't?
Hmm, I thought they did.
What do they do there?
Well, silly, "execute the mentally handicapped" does not rhyme with "F-off."
New York is not for little pussies who scream.
Or for big pussies.
Or for medium pussies.
Screaming is also discouraged in New York.
OH MY GOD!
HA HA!
I just had an insane visual of a pussy screaming.
Okay, let me regain my composure.
Ha.
If you can't stand the heat, then get off my street.

Get off my street.
Now I'm going to say, " Get off my street" seven more times so don't bother me about repeating things.
I'm saying it that many times for emphasis just in case you're thinking, Should I stay on this street or not?
I'm saying eight times that you shouldn't be.
I think there's no confusion there about where you should or should not be.
That street you're standing on. Stay off of it.
Get off my street.
Get off my street.
Get off my street.
Get off my street.
See where I'm going?
Get off my street.
Get off my street.
Get off my street.
I bet you're clear about you and the street.
Right?

Madonna - "I Love New York"