T-SHIRTS THAT I WANT TO SEE MADE:

"IN A PAST LIFE, I WAS A WHITE GAP POCKET T"

"I DON'T GET MATTHEW BARNEY"
on back: "AND NEITHER DO YOU"

"THIS IS AN IRONIC T-SHIRT"

"IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THEN YOU ARE LITERATE"

"[Your cell phone number so hot people could call you immediatley] "

"THE ONLY THING BETTER THAN DOING THE CROSSWORD PUZZLE IS FINISHING IT"

"FREE MARTHA"

"JOBS ARE, LIKE, FOR POOR PEOPLE"

"MY BAND SUCKS"

"NEW JERSEY IS NOT A PUNCHLINE!"

"I'M SORRY, MS. JACKSON. I AM FOR REAL"

"I'D RATHER BE NAPPING"

"50% LESS PHAT"

"I AM FLORENCE HENDERSON'S LOVECHILD"

"MY OTHER SHIRT IS AN ARMANI"

"CAMP SUMMER CAMP 1986-87"*

"I HATE A PARADE"*
*Naomi's and Daphna's suggestions. Please contact them for copyrighting clearance.

"I CHECK MY EMAIL OBSESSIVELY"

"MY INSTANT MESSENGER NAME IS _________ (fill in your own here)"

"I READ IT ONLY FOR THE ARTICLES"

"LAUNDER ME"