Wednesday, January 10, 2007

THE KANYE SHOW

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The Hollywood Reporter that HBO is currently developing a reality show with rapper Kanye West to air later in the year. The series is being developed and produced by Larry Charles, the mastermind behind Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Borat.

The Kanye West Show
Premise: Kanye will team up with a socially inept accountant named Goldberg as his side kick.

Episode One: Kanye buys a gold, diamond-encrusted Jesus necklace but Goldberg casually mentions to West that Jesus was Jewish which then causes the rapper to give the Jesus necklace to Goldberg. The accountant proudly wears the necklace to synagogue that weekend to show off to his community but the offended rabbi bans Goldberg from services. In the meantime, Kanye converts to Judaism inspired by Goldberg's history lesson and begins attending services at the very same synagogue Goldberg was expelled from. Seething with jealousy, Goldberg leaves his family to travel cross-country and win the affection of Pamela Anderson, who kissed West in the "Touch the Sky" video, because he assumes that that would probably make Kanye equally jealous. Hilarity ensues.

Episode Two: Goldberg accidentally picks up Kanye's phone but still offers to take a message from Jay-Z. The hip-hop moguls tells Goldberg that he "needs a sample." Goldberg assumes that "a sample" is a new drug on the streets and so he calls his friend in the CIA to have Jay-Z investigated in an effort to keep Kanye from getting entangled in drugs. Meanwhile, Kanye hears word on the street that Jay-Z is already working on a new record and he's taking meetings with producers. Kanye desperately wants to produce the whole thing himself, and so he runs over to Jay-Z's office to win him over with a box of powdered jelly donuts because Jay loves powdered jelly donuts. Hours later, the CIA agent shows up to Jay's office to discover powder all over the two rappers' faces. That night, Goldberg watches the news and sees his boss and the Jigga being taken to jail on drug charges. He also finds out that Jay hired Timbaland instead.

Episode Three: Goldberg decides that it's time for him to familiarize himself with his boss' music and so he downloads College Dropout and Late Registration from iTunes. As Goldberg listens to the lyrics, he translates with his Hip Hop Dictionary that Kanye has never completed university and this upsets him so much that Goldberg enrolls the rapper back into community college. While visiting the office of registrar, Goldberg registers Kanye for a Feminism course on a whim.
Meanwhile, Kanye is out dating two women at the same time but works diligently to prevent them from discovering one another. Somehow, Kanye is able to convince both girls that he is unable to devote his full attention to them because his mother is very sick.
Later, when Kanye finds out about Goldberg's plan, he refuses to go back to school but Oprah convinces him that this would be a great publicity move and could also serve as a positive example for young kids everywhere.
On the first day of class, Kanye attends his Feminism class to only discover that the two women he's been juggling are both his classmates. Moreover, they discover together that Kanye's mother is in perfect health when they see Momma waiting for her son outside of school to give her little boy a ride home.
For the rest of the semester, Kanye is used by the professor as a visual aid for "what's wrong with men" and Oprah no longer takes Kanye's calls.

Episode Four: Goldberg actually does Kanye's taxes.

Episode Five: Kanye tells Goldberg that he's having beef with Eminem. Goldberg doesn't like to see his boss stress so he tells Kanye that he will handle it. Kanye is very appreciative.
Despite the fact that Goldberg himself does not eat meat and dairy together, he selflessly organizes a Bar-B-Q with bowls of the candy-coated chocolates as dessert. Goldberg borrows Kanye's address book for compiling a guest list for the Beef and M & M's party. Goldberg accidentally invites the rapper Eminem for the event along with many others. Slim Shady is confused by the invite but attends the party nevertheless which eventually leads to confrontation ("What do you mean I wasn't invited?) and a shoot-out. The day after the barbecue, Goldberg understands why you're never supposed to mix milk and meat together.

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